Week 4

Starting weight: 210
Weight 2 weeks ago: 205
Pounds lost since: 4
New Weight: 201
Goal weight: 140
Pounds to go: 61

I've lost 9 pounds this month! It feels incredible to be able to say that! I feel like I have some momentum on this now that I'm seeing consistent results. I've tried losing weight so many times and been so frustrated so soon into the process that this feels so unreal and yet has given me so much hope! I find myself daydreaming about what it will be like to be thin again. To be able to buy cute clothes, not just clothes that fit and don't draw attention to my least favorite parts of myself. Part of me doesn't even want to let myself indulge in these thoughts, but what's that about? Sure, I'm afraid of failing yet again. But looking back at this month, I can say that there were challenges yet I stuck to my plan and I saw results! What I'm most proud of myself for is not giving into my old stress eating habits. A major source of my stress is school related but I've has a couple tests and even a quiz that I didn't do stellar on and I remained strong. In the past, a failed quiz would have sent me straight to find something to eat (ok, I can be candid here- not just something to eat, something, anything to binge on). At that point, I had lost about 5 pounds so I already felt like I had some momentum so I forced myself to stay strong.  Then something happened to me that, now looking back, I find really interesting. But first, I do have to reveal some more of my history: I have battled with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager.  So, if I have been using eating as a coping mechanism for my anxiety, it would make sense that if I take away that coping mechanism, my anxiety would manifest in a different manner, right? And it did. As a panic attack at 3 in the morning, the night before a midterm. But, like I said, I've been fighting this since I was 13, so I've been into see a counselor and I basically got a high five for being proactive about my mental health. One of the benefits of getting older is that you get to know yourself, and I know how bad my depression and anxiety can get so I know that if I'm starting to feel that way, there's no time to ignore it. And it may sound strange, but I'm glad I had a panic attack because I don't just want to continue the way I have been living. If emotional eating has been helping me cope with depression and anxiety but making me gain weight and be unhealthy, I'm winning one battle at the expense of another. So, see what I mean, it's only been a month but the challenges have been plenty! 

So, I also wanted to share a link to a website that I have found incredibly helpful this month. As a reminder, or if you're just stumbling across this post randomly, I've been doing the online weight watchers points plus program (see disclaimer to the right if you're wondering if I'm getting paid for writing about my experiences, which spoiler alert: I'm not ). I'm quite happy with the plan so far. I find that I do opt for healthier choices to "save points." Also, like most people, my life is hectic and flexibility is essential to my sanity. And most importantly, I LOVE food even (ok, especially) the not so good for you food. But that's what I'm loving about WW: I can splurge. I can "cheat." I can eat a delicious cheeseburger on a Saturday night and I can do so without feeling guilty because it's built into the plan! I'm becoming more and more convinced that this is why I'm still sticking with it. Anyway, back to the link. So while the mobile WW app is great, I have found that sometimes you'll come across a restaurant that isn't on their app, so what to do? I found this website that has points values for 380 restaurants! It's quite complete and updated often. So, if we're trying to pick a place to eat, I can easily look at points values to make a decision that fits with how many points I'm wanting to use. Hope you find it helpful!