Day One: My name is Dani and I have a problem...

Starting weight: 210 lbs
Goal Weight: 140 lbs
Pounds til Goal Weight: 70 lbs

As a serial dieter, I've done this enough times to know the drill. Set a realistic goal with an achievable timeframe. Set mini-goals along the way. Reward yourself as you obtain your goals. Track your meals. Exercise.

But I've done this many times before. Most recently, I signed up for Weight Watchers online, started taking karate and I worked really hard on setting up this fantastic chart inspired by a pin seen on pinterest and taped it on the pantry door to help keep me on track. Then the stress of finals got to me, then it was Christmas. So today, I found myself in the same place I have been soooo many times before: Getting dressed, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and feeling guilty for not sticking to my plan.

So, if I know what to do and how to do it, why am I still overweight? Why does it feel like I've been dieting my entire adult life just to see the numbers on the scale, climb higher and higher each year? I've suspected for some time now that I have an emotional eating or compulsive eating disorder.

Tonight, I found myself on the Overeaters Anonymous website, where I found this list of questions to help determine if you have a compulsive eating problem.

1. Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs  nourishment? 
2. Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick? 
3. Do I have feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat? Yes, 
4. Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
5. Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
6. When my emotions are intense—whether positive or negative—do I find myself reaching for food?
7. Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?
8. Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?
9. Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
10. Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
11. Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?
12. Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage?
13. Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite?
14. Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain?
15. Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?

I said yes to all but one of these questions.

So, my new plan is to work through my underlying compulsive eating issues while following Weight Watchers Points Plus, continuing my karate classes, and documenting my experiences here.